Hooked

Found. The most trite pun of all time. But this guy loves to fish I tell ya. And he is good at it. When he's not catching himself.

Migraine Alert!

Found. Sage advice. My girlfriend took this course to prevent getting her head lopped off by a helicopter. It totally worked. Thanks copter safety man. Plus, I'm glad I'm not dating a 7 foot freak who can't catch her own head. You gotta look it in.

Leggo my ego

Lost. An ego. How refreshing. Anyone willing to be seen in a Mazda convertible has clearly given up. Any bets on whether or not he wears sweatpants to work?

B A N A N A S!

Found. A dude willing to put on a gorilla suit for 3 plus hours, wallow in his own sweat and BO, to be compensated with point-blank cleavage. Let's face it: He's not getting paid for this, and there are a few thousand guys waiting for him to quit. Creepy or genius? Creepy genius.

Rootin' Tootin'

Found. Yosemite Sam hot sauce. It comes a blazin'. At breakfast no less. I don't see any reason to draw, however. Wyatt, Doc, Billy, and the boys are long gone. It's just hot sauce.

Nailed!

Found. Quite possibly the largest hammer in existence. "Duh, Troutslayer", you say, "It's outside the Hammer Museum in Haines, Alaska." "Hammer museum?", I say, "No such thing." To which you reply, "It's taller than a friggin' telephone pole. It's an big MC Hammer." "Hmmm", I say, "Can't touch this!"

In the red

Lost. T-shirt. Eyeballs. Feet. I mean, who brings a blind, shirtless, footless baby on a subway and lets them fumble about unattended? Bad things bound to happen here, you dig?