Shuttlecock anyone?

Found. My memory of 7th grade gym class when I drilled my cute, female opponent in the head with a missle not much different from this one. I've been turning off women ever since.

The Whiteness

Lost. This dude's sense of self. Anybody willing to put this on their vehicle and subject themselves to endless ridicule, has to be a dork. I can't say just how big, but it has to be substantial. Has to be.

You snooze you lose

Found. Firewood. And under this dead bear's chin no less.

The Gatekeeper

Lost. Then found. This seems to be an ongoing battle between my buddy and his wife as to whether this is appropriate front porch decor. He is patriotic. He looks prepared for the Wisconsin elements. Keep him on the porch for cryin' out loud! God bless America and god bless Lil' Chad!

Roads? Where we're goin, we don't need roads

Found. Jesus. Really. He was just chillin at the park with his ipod and rippin air guitar, so I asked him if he needed a lift. Now he just rides on my dashboard and watches the speed zones for me. Such a nice fellow.

Shirts off!

Lost. This guy's shirt. One might presume that it was warm on this bright and sunny day, but one would be wrong. If you have the shirt, give it back. Please.

I don't read so good

Found on the river today. Clearly, this lovely tree ornament was intended for the Teacher Of The Year but never reached its destination. If you are the Teacher Of The Year, step up and claim your prize. And no Mr. Otis, it isn't you.