tax dollars at work

Lost. Any semblance of intelligence. Approximately 80% (this may be conservative) of road signs in Alaska have at least one bullet hole in them. If said road sign is telling you not to do something, or such an action may bring consequences, well, you can go ahead and multiple that number by 15. Who pays for new road signs again??? (editor's note: check out my funky artwork)

Hooked

Found. The most trite pun of all time. But this guy loves to fish I tell ya. And he is good at it. When he's not catching himself.

Migraine Alert!

Found. Sage advice. My girlfriend took this course to prevent getting her head lopped off by a helicopter. It totally worked. Thanks copter safety man. Plus, I'm glad I'm not dating a 7 foot freak who can't catch her own head. You gotta look it in.

Leggo my ego

Lost. An ego. How refreshing. Anyone willing to be seen in a Mazda convertible has clearly given up. Any bets on whether or not he wears sweatpants to work?

B A N A N A S!

Found. A dude willing to put on a gorilla suit for 3 plus hours, wallow in his own sweat and BO, to be compensated with point-blank cleavage. Let's face it: He's not getting paid for this, and there are a few thousand guys waiting for him to quit. Creepy or genius? Creepy genius.